A Mission of Greater Threat

Twice I flew into Kabul, I was on Hercules aircraft from Kandahar into Kabul and I have to say that that was
probably the one time I sort of said, “Okay this could be it.” Because we would land at the Kabul airport which was a secure environment and then we would be transported by Brit, in a Brit convoy down to the headquarters to meet with folks. And this one particular, the first time I was there it wasn't too bad but the second time, it was a different security environment in the sense of obviously there was more threats locally.
So you're in a convoy which really just means you are in a hardened vehicle in like with three vehicles and we were actually, put a round into our guns. Typically we didn't have rounds within our weapons and we were asked to do that because of the threat and we were asked to keep our eyes open for a white Toyota Corolla. Well I'm sorry but they are all white Toyota Corollas okay. And it was just like if this is the day, this is the day because you know there were children playing on the road and then there would be a hole in the road and then the convoy would be, you know, speeding up and slowing down and doing whatever they had to do right, they had their maneuvers and what not and chitter chatter on the radio because you heard all of it. And you know look here, look there and I was just like, “Oh my God, if this is it, this is it,” like I was prepared, right? It was, you can't, I don't know. So when I got back into the Kabul airport at the end of our meetings and stuff it was like okay, that's that. But you could get killed crossing the road as much. I had one major who came into theatre and he was visibly nervous, a Canadian major and he was sweating all the time and it's just, he just, I don't know, I had this sense of calm about me because when I would go walking, I would go walking on the road that was only maybe two feet from outside of the base and I mean anybody could have thrown something over, somebody could have shot you through the gate or through the fence I mean, things could happen right?
But for me, I don't know, I didn't feel threatened in that regard.