I was going down a really dark tunnel
because I was alone especially alone in a
town where nobody could understand
what I was going through.
I mean my own psychologist,
every time I would go in there he’s like,
“This is just awful, how you are dealing
with these things, how are you still here?”
So just that sense of I am not alone and
there are other people that have gone
through this and there’s something we
can do about it. It really made a big
difference and last November
this individual that I connected with,
she called me and she said, “I really
think that we should apply for Invictus!”
And I was like, “Are you insane?
I am not an athlete.
Like I am broken. I can hardly get up my
stairs like this is not happening."
And she’s like, “No I really think wouldn’t
it be amazing, look at what we’ve already
done, we met randomly at this retreat,
wouldn’t it be amazing if we could go to
Invictus together?”
And I was like, “It would be amazing!”
And again, that same thing
If I don’t do it now I’m not going to do it,
paperwork all those types of things
very very difficult for me. So I got off the
phone and I went to the computer and
I found the application and I filled out
the application and then I kind of went, send!
Right? Not thinking there was any chance,
I mean they’re going to be looking for people
who may be broken but that are like they
got one super fit arm, and you know what I
mean? I was just a mess. I was a mess.
And, you know, I just kind of didn't really
think about it for a long time and
then the sort of selection letter day,
because of course through our
support group there was some
people as well from the support group.
So everyone is like,
“Did you get your letter today?” “No!”
And I’m like if I didn’t get a letter.
But you got a letter regardless either
it was a yes or a try again next
year sort of thing. But I didn’t get
any letter so I was thinking
okay well that’s just, you know, that’s okay,
it's good. I was good either way.
I’m like the right person will get
this position on this team.
The person who needs this position
will get this. And so the whole day went
by and I was like this seems really strange.
Everybody has got a letter so I
contacted Soldier On and
I said, “I’m just wondering, I’m sorry to
bother you but do you know why
I don’t have a letter?” And he’s like,
“Oh no, no we sent it to you, like you’re
on the team!” And I was like,
“What, what do you mean I’m on the team?”
So it had gone to like a junk mail and
I just couldn’t believe it.
And my friend contacted me and she
had gotten on the team. I mean the odds
of that are just unbelievable, really when
you think of how many people
applied for the team this year.
For us both to be on the team was just
like a meant to be kind of thing.
And just grateful right? Just grateful to her
for pushing me to do that because
I wouldn’t have done it by myself and
then just that kind of overwhelming like,
okay I got to figure out how to be an
athlete now! I think you’re given a
new purpose. I mean I haven’t worn a
uniform in over twenty years and to be
given a shirt that says Canada on it in
any way, shape or form,
it’s kind of amazing. And I think we all
had the same feeling like they’re going
to send us a letter saying I’m sorry we
made a really terrible mistake and
we didn’t mean you. Honestly that’s how it felt.
And so yesterday being on those bleachers
and hearing those words, you know,
that we deserve to be there.
Just hearing that affirmation like you are
broken in a different way then maybe
some of the other people on this team
but you still deserve to be here.
That was pretty amazing?