The things that used to bother me and there was one incident
that sticks in my mind. I used to do foot patrol just up
from a church in the town of Srebrenica. I always used to hear
a kid crying and it was in the middle of the night and I used to
get up sometimes, get my flashlight and just walk up the
street, just to make sure because sometimes there would be
things going on in the street that you, sometimes you were
looking for soldiers that were in the front line that used to
come down into the town and this was where they used to hide.
Our aim too was to get the soldiers back up where they
belong in the front line so we used to get up in wee hours of
the morning and go on patrol and I used to hear this crying
all the time, every area, the same area I should say.
So I stopped on day cause this was bothering me and I went
down an embankment and I looked up and there was a mother with,
I would have to say, couldn’t be any more than a 5-year old boy
and an infant, living under a culvert, it was a huge culvert,
a river ran through it but it had trees, logs piled up high
so they wouldn’t be sitting in the water. And I tried to talk
her out and she did nothing but scream figuring I was going to
do her harm because I was a soldier, she seen me in uniform.
So right then and there, I thought uh, uh, she was harmed by
somebody in uniform.
I spoke to the local fire fighter and he had told me they knew
about this lady and she was a Muslim. Her husband was a Serb,
they shot her husband and she was raped. The child she gave
birth here in Srebenica and that child wasn’t the fathers.
It was one of the Serb soldiers. And she was doing
everything to hang on, but she was hiding from the village people
because she figured if they found out she was raped and
this child, they would kill this child. So this is why she
wanted to live in this culvert. So we were trying,
I was trying to personally get her out and bring her into the
hospital. It would have took a better man than me to get her
out. There was just no way. She didn’t trust me, didn’t want me
even look at her. She just, even to stare at her she was
screaming and that hurt me, because I was there for humanitarian
reasons and that really hurt me that she had no trust in me
and then I understood the background.
The fire fighter spoke to her and she told him what exactly
happened. He related to me. He said, “This is why.”
And I said, “Well, I’m here not to hurt her. I’m here to bring
her and her family into the, into the hospital where she can stay
There’s lots of room there” and her answer to him was,
“Tell the UN soldier I don’t trust anybody especially foreign
soldiers and the last guy that said that to me, wouldn’t harm me,
raped me.” And right there, I said, “Ok, she’s definitely been
damaged.” Did that affect me? Yes it did, to see that little
baby, cold, very little blankets. So what I did, you know, I
went and her gave a portion of my sleeping bag that I had and I
brought it down and just threw it in and she grabbed it and I
said, “It’s yours, you know, it’s the best I can do for you.”