I've seen lots of bodies, and I don't get upset about seeing
them. It doesn't make me happy, either. But when you look at
a. . . . one day, you drive by and there's a soccer field. The
next day there's more graves than you could possibly count, and
they're still burying people. And you do body exchanges and you
take people, you know, return bodies to one side or the other.
You don't get desensitized to it. You just find a way of dealing
with it, but when it's a kid who's never, never done anything,
isn't old enough to know how to do anything, but he's in an
environment that's extremely dangerous. As soon as you look at
one, what's the first thing you see? Your child, you know. And
even if you don't have kids, you see your friends' kids and that,
and you see a kid, you just see a kid. And it's not a Bosnian kid
it's not a Serb kid, it's just a kid. It's not an Egyptian kid,
it's just a kid. And you look at the way they're dressed and you
know, some are well dressed, some aren't, and some are really
needy, and some are pretty, pretty well off. Well, but
they're a kid, and their world's been torn apart and they're,
they're not learning a really good lesson, a life lesson or a,
or a world lesson. That's what makes the job, I wouldn't say
rewarding, but it, it brings reward to it, that in hopes that
you can, you can change this situation that these kids are in,
and maybe because of your efforts, they'll see that, that's
not what the world's supposed to be. It's not all conflict. And
that as they get older, they'll remember that and have hope
and . . . for the future. You could say that, yeah, I guess
rewarding is probably the right word for that. But the kids are
really hard on you. I was standing at, next to a school,
and this was well into the tour, and there was a playground.
This school later was where the, some of the Vandoos that were
taken hostage in '96, that's were they were . . I'm sorry in '95
that's where they were held. And we were negotiating to put an
observation post on top of it and that. But I was there, I was
standing there, and a young boy came up and was asking me
different questions. We have small scopes on our rifles
and, "Sniper? Sniper?" And this little kid, twelve, maybe ten,
ten, twelve years old, he was all enthral, enthused about me
having a scope on there and possibly being a sniper,
because that's what he wanted to be. He wanted to be a sniper,
and he wanted to shoot the people on the other side. I told him
that I wasn't a sniper, and that it was better
to not have a gun and be peaceful. But I left there, and I
was walking around and looking at the playground. They had
basketball hoops and that. And a couple of kids came in and they
started playing around in there, and I noticed where they were
playing, that there were the splash patterns of, of mortar
shells in there. And that, that kinda, that was, that was
upsetting 'cause kids shouldn't have to play in places that,
that happens.