Fatigue and accepting your fate

If we knew when we were in danger, and there was a form of excitement or terrible fatigue, that's the, that's the saving grace is fatigue. You can be so damn tired that the prospect of eternal sleep isn't that bad. That's not bravado, it's just, it's just exhaustion is the word, that's the word you can exhaust everything. And the one night when I thought, "This was it." I thought this was going to be the end of it, you know, there was no way you couldn't surrender in the black dark, and they would be coming in through that door and I thought, "This was it, they'll throw a grenade in or they'll just spray with a Schmeisser" and, but once you accept it, it's odd, there's no longer any sense of panic or anything.